Are You Into Bondage, Fetish, & Kink Or Are You Vanilla?

Kink, bondage, and fetishes are some of the little talked about areas of erotic play and sexual exploration. While many people keep their more unique desires in the closet, there is an equal number that embraces their differences and engages of full steam erotic passions that will make even Ron Jeremy blush.  

No matter how tame your sex life may be, you can add a bit of kink or bondage to your bedroom play. If you are not sure how to get started, keep on reading and I guarantee you will want to be a BDSM sex slave by the end of this post!

Kink vs Fetish – All You Need To Know

To most people, the words kink and fetish equate to the same thing. While a fetish can be kinky, and some kink also qualifies as a fetish, they are very much, different things. If you are still confused, don’t worry, I am here to help you understand the difference between fetish and kink and how it affects a person’s sex life.

Any type of erotic desires that differ from mainstream ideals such as gay fetish kink or bondage is often called fetishes or kink. The main differences between the two are much more clear though they may overlap at times.

A fetish is always erotic, in other words, it is something required that allows a person to attain sexual gratification. Some of the best bondage toys on the market are created with people that have certain fetishes. The object or act of a fetish is not always sexual in nature, but it gives sexual gratification to the person who has the fetish. For example, some people have foot fetishes, or latex fetishes, or even shoe fetishes.

A kink, on the other hand, is something that causes arousal that is not in line with any sexual norms. What is normal is subjective, but overall a kink is something that gives a person pleasure but is not required for sexual gratification. A simple example of a kink is cock and ball bondage. While inherently pleasurable, it is not a normal sexual activity and its use is also not required to trigger an orgasm.

What Does BDSM Mean?

BDSM brings to mind Fifty Shades of Grey, Sasha grey BDSM or Rihanna waxing about girl on girl bondage in one of her hit songs. While the made for the public image of BDSM such as shown in Fifty Shades of Grey has opened up this erotic genre to the masses, plenty of people really don’t understand what it is. I’m here to help. BDSM stands for Bondage /- Discipline /-Dominance /- Submission /- Sadism /- Masochism. That is a mouthful but it covers a wide range of different tastes and sexual activities.

Before you start thinking about where to buy bondage gear, it is important to understand that BDSM is more than just being tied up. There a lot of role-playing involved on top of submission, discipline, and dominance and sadomasochism. Also, just because someone likes to be tied to the bed on occasion doesn’t mean they are actively practicing BDSM.

There are a lot of ways to combine power, control, pain, and sex in a way that is not only healthy but extremely pleasurable. While you are looking into where to buy bondage rope to use with your partner, remember that communication and consent are the main points needed for a sexually gratifying BDSM experience.

Using Handcuffs & Ropes For Erotic Pleasure

There is something extra sexy about sex in handcuffs that make men and women alike cream in anticipation. Tying up your sex partner in ropes is decidedly BDSM, whereas using a pair of handcuffs during your erotic adventures can offer more sexual stimulation without being extreme. BDSM is great for those who enjoy control, pain, and submission, but what about those of us who just want to spice things up a little bit without taking it all the way?

That’s where handcuffs and sex become the perfect middle ground for couples or even casual partners to explore their sexual fantasies. Grab a pair of leather sex handcuffs and tie your partner the shower or the bed, or you can even handcuff their hands to their ankles as you bend them over a chair. There are so many options to choose from when you add a little bit of restraining play to your erotic exploits.

Understanding Rope Bondage for Beginners

If you are just getting into the world of restraint or full-on BDSM, then a short intro to rope bondage may be helpful. Before you start, it is important to pick up the best bondage gear available for your skill level to ensure that your sexual experience is pleasurable, and there is a lower chance of skin abrasions.

When my partner and I decided to experiment with rope play, we decided to buy bondage gear online instead of going into a store in person. This was mainly because I was a bit embarrassed and could not imagine asking the clerk what the best rope for bondage was without turning a bright shade of red.

We ended up buying a sex position pillow along with a bondage set online from Sex Supply Shop. When it came, I knew our fantasy fetish was going to turn out amazing. I suggest starting off with a few simple knots paired with gentle stimulation and erotic play. This allowed my partner and me to ease into restraint in a way that wasn’t scary or overwhelming. Safewords and clear communication are also important. This is something I learned the hard way and ended up with rope burns during our first bondage sex session.

Why Do People Like BDSM?

BDSM attracts different people for different reasons. Of course, if you are like me, any reason to use a nipple twist during sex is a good reason. On a more serious note, a lot of people like to experiment with control and submission. A person who takes on the role of a submissive may find pleasure in wearing restraint straps and giving over their body to the whims of their dom. Even though using a safe word will end the session, leaving your pleasure to the hands of another can be extremely titillating

Putting in a pair of restraint straps and giving up control is scary, but in a way that triggers your erotic side. I guess you can compare it to watching a horror film, it is scary, but entertaining at the same time. BDSM is the same, you are living out a fantasy by wearing a bdsm day collar and becoming a sex slave. It is also a way to escape from the real world and the responsibilities that come with it. The only thing you have to think about us cumming and pleasuring your dom according to their wishes.

Being a Dom is another side of BDSM that can attract people. Having total control and engaging in rough sex bdsm with a willing partner can feel very empowering. Knowing you have sexual power and total control over another person’s body and their pleasure can be very exciting.

Creative Sex Positions With Handcuffs for Couples

If you are not quite ready to dive in headfirst into BDSM, you can always get your erotic restraint fix with a pair of sex hand cuffs. Before I ever thought of being tied up and strapped to a fucking machine while being spanked by my Dom, I used handcuffs for sex with my partner.

When you think about sex hand cuffs, you probably think about pink fuzzy hand cuffs that are more for looks than for use. While there are a lot of gag cuffs on the market, sexy hand cuffs that offer minimal restraint are a great way to spice up your bedroom play. Some people simply don’t like being fully restrained, but binding their hands is close enough to offer a little bit of kink and a whole lot of sexual satisfaction.

If you have never used handcuffs during sex, then you are in for a wonderful surprise. Handcuffs are sexy because they give control at the same time it’s taken away. Not sure how to use them for sex? Try some of my favorite positions:

The Kinky Missionary – This is a classic. I have an iron bed that has slats. My partner likes to take our sex toys handcuffs and secure my wrist to the headboard while I am laying on my back. This gives him the control to pleasure me as much or as little as he wants without me being able to move out of that position. Because my legs are free, I can still straddle and pump with each of his strokes for heightened orgasms during our erotic restraint play.

Bondage Queening – Men love restraint too, at least my man does. Sex with handcuffs with him in restraint is done in the same position. I put him on the bed and cuff his hands to the headboard. Instead of him teasing or pleasing me, I’ll sit on his face while erotically stimulating his cock. Well, I guess he is pleasing me, but on my terms. This is a great way to take back control of the bedroom and make him beg for release.

Hands Behind the Ankles – This position is easiest for me when we use leather hand cuffs. I lay down on my belly and then he slips in between my legs. I'll lift my ankles up and hold them in my hands as he places sex toy handcuffs around my wrist. This opens up my g-spot and also creates a very sub/dom position that is stimulating for both of us.

What Is The Difference Between Fetish and Fantasy?

So, now that you know a bit about BDSM, you can start thinking about the best rope for bondage to start your erotic adventures. Let’s move into a more vanilla side of erotic bedroom play, fantasy. The definition of fantasy is something that you imagine and want to act out with your partner or alone. A fetish, on the other hand, is an object or idea that you focus on or need to enjoy sexual pleasure.

Erotic fantasy is usually something that you think about while pleasuring yourself or having sex with your partner. There is a whole range of fantasies, some you may actually bring to life, while others may sit in the dark recesses of your dirty mind.

For example, my partner bought me some fetish fantasy lingerie that was crotchless to wear under my formal dress. It was his fantasy to bend me over wearing just such a garment in a dark corner of a party. We did just that and let’s just say his bucket list of sexual fantasies is now 2 items smaller. One of my fantasies that will never happen is to be tied up in hand cuffs by 3 well-hung men, tortured with a feather tickler, and then satiated by all three....at once....hard. Of course, it’s a fantasy that will stay in my dirty mind.